THE HOTTEST GIRL IN THE WORLD!!!!!

Savannah Brown

Savannah Brown is an American writer and poet based in London. She’s the author of two novels (Penguin Random UK) and two poetry collections, with a third forthcoming in 2023 (Doomsday Press). i-D called her “the poet articulating your deepest existential fears”. 


is drinking gallons and gallons 

     of oat milk

and has completely undetectable scoliosis 

She is wearing low-cut 

     paradoxes and thinks about her boyfriend 

for a minimum

    of nine hours an Earth day

When she lifts her arms to yawn 

because she is so sleepy she reveals 

a belly button 

     shaped like a coin slot 

to a vending machine that dispenses 

                goodtime

She is vividly sexy and precious and dying

like the coral reef as photographed for Playboy

She is moving to a city near you

   She is online now and ready to chat

We know 

                               where she lives

She is gorilla grip

  She is scarce resource

She is coquettishly pulling your terrible

    pint and her tweets do not suck

We would kill

                             ourselves for her

She’s just passed the Bar and 

               we’re so very proud 

She met your parents before you were born

              and it went really well

Her many kinks include 

  being tied up and then let go

     over and over and

                         she is coming just for you

Look she is creating an OnlyFans to which everyone alive 

will        subscribe 

Breaking news

in a small town in Nowhere

   the new world’s hottest girl was just born 

      and we have exclusive images of her delivery

                        Meanwhile we have decided to crucify the old one

We are crucifying her in New York and in London

We are crucifying her on the cover of The Times

On TMZ she is being asked what it feels like to hang 

                                            there

Understand there is nothing more important than the world’s hottest girl

Our glittery idiot savior

The exquisite god we despise


Photograph by Naihan Nath.